When did I figure out I was empathic?
I entered into a room and sat down into a chair and immediately was overcome with this heart breaking sadness. My heart was in my lower belly, My chest felt totally void. It was so overwhelming I could not focus. The sadness was so deep I could hardly function. It was as if a death had just occured and the grief was more than I could bare. I cried endlessly for weeks and weeks. It wasn't just heart break, it was a fracturing of the Soul.
Finding out someone was just in that chair and was told traumatically shocking news regarding someone he loved very much started to make sense and explained so much.. This overwhelming pain and heaviness lasted a very long time. Through energy healers and teachers I learned about empathical ways. I was an emotional absorber. I absorbed his heart break and felt him within me in a strange way for quite some time. We never had contact again but I could feel and experienced his profound grief..
It explained so much of my life. It explained why I became so fragile inside. I could no longer stand up for who I really was, for I was so camoflaged by carrying so many others emotions. The boundaries were non existent. I tried to be bold and strong and stand up and sometimes even defend what was sacred to me, but it was such a chaos of emotions that I did not do it very effectively. It was like I was carrying the heartbreak of all those around me. I was so vulnerable fragments of my soul were coveted for others personal gain.
There was a period of time I allowed myself to die outwardly and awaken my robot side to step in for me. The violence and fear could no longer be carried. Some may call this shutting down, some may call it 'a walk in'. It was my only option to survive and to still raise my children Suicide was never an option for my girls needed me to keep the harmony, at least in my mind.. I wanted to take care of them and the robot was stronger than me at that time..
Learning what it means to be empathic and how to live in a world of bullies and charlatans has healed so much for me. The boundaries ares stronger. My soul pieces have been retrieved and melded together and I walk with a fullness, a solidness now.
I have returned all the energies of those who do not belong in my essence and have had all the power I gave away, consciously and unconsciously, returned to me.
It is a grand feeling.
I entered into a room and sat down into a chair and immediately was overcome with this heart breaking sadness. My heart was in my lower belly, My chest felt totally void. It was so overwhelming I could not focus. The sadness was so deep I could hardly function. It was as if a death had just occured and the grief was more than I could bare. I cried endlessly for weeks and weeks. It wasn't just heart break, it was a fracturing of the Soul.
Finding out someone was just in that chair and was told traumatically shocking news regarding someone he loved very much started to make sense and explained so much.. This overwhelming pain and heaviness lasted a very long time. Through energy healers and teachers I learned about empathical ways. I was an emotional absorber. I absorbed his heart break and felt him within me in a strange way for quite some time. We never had contact again but I could feel and experienced his profound grief..
It explained so much of my life. It explained why I became so fragile inside. I could no longer stand up for who I really was, for I was so camoflaged by carrying so many others emotions. The boundaries were non existent. I tried to be bold and strong and stand up and sometimes even defend what was sacred to me, but it was such a chaos of emotions that I did not do it very effectively. It was like I was carrying the heartbreak of all those around me. I was so vulnerable fragments of my soul were coveted for others personal gain.
There was a period of time I allowed myself to die outwardly and awaken my robot side to step in for me. The violence and fear could no longer be carried. Some may call this shutting down, some may call it 'a walk in'. It was my only option to survive and to still raise my children Suicide was never an option for my girls needed me to keep the harmony, at least in my mind.. I wanted to take care of them and the robot was stronger than me at that time..
Learning what it means to be empathic and how to live in a world of bullies and charlatans has healed so much for me. The boundaries ares stronger. My soul pieces have been retrieved and melded together and I walk with a fullness, a solidness now.
I have returned all the energies of those who do not belong in my essence and have had all the power I gave away, consciously and unconsciously, returned to me.
It is a grand feeling.
